Shattered
by MelissaMargaret
Summary: She had sacrificed so many incredible opportunities for me, and because of that I would always work to be someone she could be proud of, even though I never stopped failing. C/Es. AH. OOC. Rated M for content, language, and adult situations.
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to their respective owners. The author of this story in no way profits from its use or distribution.**

**This is VERY different from what I normally write, and it's definitely a Carlisle and Esme that you've never seen before. If you are easily offended by strong language, sex, drugs, alcohol, or tattoos don't read. **

**If you are under the age of 18 you really shouldn't be reading this either. The themes presented in this story are geared towards adults, but honestly there are worse things you could watch on the History channel.**

**Thank you to texasunshine, kr2009, and luvrofink for pre-reading and holding my hand as I write this story, and to Mackenzie L. for being the most amazing beta ever. They are team Tattlisle and Inkme and I wouldn't be posting this without their support.**

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><p><em><span>November 2, 2009<span>_

_Seattle, WA_

I sat in the stuffy conference room, pulling at the bandage on my arm.

I wanted to get the hell out of here already.

I wanted to get back to the hospital.

Back to _her_.

"Carlisle, are you listening?"

I looked up at my court appointed attorney. "No."

"Well you need to be, son. This is your future on the line."

I cringed at his use of the word son. I'm not your son.

I tried to listen as he went over my options, but I couldn't stop looking at the door. Not that it mattered. There was no way they would let me see her, even if I went back to the hospital.

I saw the looks all the doctors and nurses gave me every time they came out of her room. How does the driver always walk away without a scratch while his passenger nearly dies?

I wanted to scream at them that I wish I knew. That if I could be the one in the hospital bed instead of her I would.

They all shook their heads. They knew what my medical report said. They knew exactly what was in my system when we were brought in.

They thought they knew everything about me based on some words on a paper and the handcuffs on my wrist.

They didn't know anything.

It wasn't like I didn't realize the situation I was in. I just didn't care. My life was meaningless without her in it.

My attorney pushed some papers toward me. "These two are the only options the court will allow, Carlisle. They're the two best facilities in the country."

I picked up the brochures. Neither looked bad. One had palm trees everywhere. Esme would like that.

"And if I don't go?" I asked.

He took off his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"You're facing some serious charges. When the police searched your apartment there was enough cocaine to show intent to distribute. That's in addition to the DUI and suspicion of possessing a controlled substance. You're lucky she's going to live or you would also be looking at vehicular manslaughter."

I leaned back in my chair, unsure of what I should do. I didn't want to leave Esme for a second, much less months. Not now that I finally had her back. If she even still wanted me. That would be a miracle at this point.

If she didn't, there was no need to go through this charade. It was all bullshit anyway.

"How long do I have to decide?"

"One week," he replied.

One week to decide the rest of my life.

"You have to do this, Carlisle," he continued. "They will drop all the charges if you successfully complete treatment."

I shook my head. "It's not up to me. It's up to her."

And it was. The last thing I wanted was to go to fucking rehab. I didn't need it. But if Esme thought I should go, I would.

I would do anything to be the man she needed me to be.

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><p><strong>Intrigued? First chapter will post tomorrow. After that it will update when it updates. I don't have a schedule for this one.<strong>


	2. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to their respective owners. The author of this story in no way profits from its use or distribution.**

**This story contains themes of addiction, sex, language, and other adult situations. I do not condone the lifestyle portrayed in this story. If you have an issue with anything in this story, please move along. Trust me when I say this is a story I need to tell, and I've toned it down as far as I can without sacrificing the integrity of the characters. It earns its M rating.**

**I want to thank everyone for the amazing reaction to the prologue! I was not expecting that at all. I know Carlisle seems a little unreedemable but I think this chapter will show he's an amazing person who made some very stupid decisions. They both are. Esme is no saint either. Pay attention to the date stamps. The story begins three years before the prologue. Enjoy. **

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><p><em><span>August 22, 2005<span>_

_Columbus, OH_

Tap… tap… tap.

I turned to look at the clock. Three in the morning and someone was knocking on my bedroom window. _Great._

I was just beginning to fade off to sleep after a night of hell.

It wasn't that I had been doing anything. In fact I had been lying in bed for hours, tossing and turning. I finally got up a few hours ago and rolled a blunt, hoping it would make me forget what was happening tomorrow.

It didn't.

I considered calling someone to bring me a beer since my father never had alcohol in the house. I didn't because I didn't want to be too messed up in the morning to not remember her perfectly.

I wanted to see that perfect lopsided smile one last time.

Before the reality of the choice she made set in.

The tapping on my window got louder.

I groaned and got out of bed. Stumbling to the window I unlocked it without bothering to open it and climbed back in bed. Sometimes the guys came by in the middle of the night to get some weed. They usually texted me first, but who knew what went through their heads half the time, and I didn't feel like talking to them tonight.

They didn't understand the importance of what was happening in the morning – or how deeply it would change me.

I heard a thump that sounded like something hitting the floor and opened my eyes just in time to see the most welcome sight in the world slip between the sheets beside me.

God, she always smelled like fucking flowers.

I pulled her to me and buried my face in her hair. I never thought she might come tonight. I thought these nights were gone forever. I had already said my silent goodbye and accepted the inevitable end of whatever it was we had.

This had been a nightly routine of ours for a little over a year. Every night she would sneak through my window and spend the night with me. It was an escape for us both. We loved each other in secret, never letting anyone else know about the world we had created for ourselves.

She would sneak out of her house in the middle of the night, drive over here, crawl into my bed, and ride to school with me every morning. I don't think her parents had ever even noticed she wasn't there in the mornings.

For a girl who came from a family that acted in public like the sun rose and set on their daughter they sure didn't seem to notice that she was almost never home.

Why she wanted to spend her nights in my filthy room when she had fifty thousand dollar sheets she could sleep between was lost on me, but if this was where she wanted to be, who the hell was I to complain?

Her hands gripped my shoulders so tight as I held her it made me wince, but there was no way I would say anything. This was our last night together. Whatever she wanted was hers.

After tomorrow she would no longer be mine. Not that she was now when it came down to it. The ring on her fourth finger wasn't mine. No matter how much I wanted it to be I couldn't change the facts.

The knowledge that this was the end overwhelmed me, like someone had punched me in the gut, causing my body to rebel against the idea of having to give her up.

I had, too, though.

Even if it killed me.

She deserved so much more than I could ever give her.

She pulled back and looked me in the eye. Without a word she leaned in and kissed me like she would never stop. I hoped she wouldn't. I wanted to freeze this moment forever, but there were things that needed to be said and questions that needed answers. I reluctantly ended the kiss, loving the way my mouth still tasted like the mint in her toothpaste.

"Why are you here, Esme?" I whispered. "You're getting married in the morning."

She shook her head furiously and held onto me tighter than before. "I'm not."

"What do you mean 'you're not'?"

"I can't do it, Carlisle. I can't marry him." She sounded desperate. It wasn't that I wanted her to marry that uptight fucker. I didn't want her with anyone but me. But he could give her the world. And even that was less than she deserved.

I took her face in my hands and forced her to look at me. "You have to, Esme. You have to marry him and live the life you've always deserved."

She shook her head again. "I'm meant for you. Whatever life that means I'll have, I don't care. All I need is to be with you. Please leave with me, Carlisle. Tonight."

What the hell did she just say?

"Esme, you can't be serious about this. Think about what you're saying."

"I have," she insisted. "I've thought about this for a long time. I'm sick of pretending things are okay. I hate him, Carlisle. How can you ask me to marry someone I hate? You don't want that anymore than I do."

I had to agree with that statement.

I could give in to her so easily. I would follow Esme anywhere. But she wasn't thinking clearly. She was skittish about the wedding tomorrow. _Her_ wedding. I needed to make her fully understand the repercussions of what she was asking of me.

"Esme, stop. You need to see what you're doing. Baby, they'll disown you. You know they'll never forgive you if you leave with me. You won't get your money. You know they'll find a way to keep it from you. You'll lose everything if you leave Charles waiting at the altar."

She grinned. "He won't be waiting at the altar. I left him a letter."

I almost laughed at her matter of fact attitude, but I couldn't let her think this was funny.

"Baby, what do you mean you left him a letter? You have to go back before he finds it and you lose everything."

Her eyes widened. "I'm not going back, Carlisle. Why can't you see that he isn't right for me? That you are who I belong with." She was becoming hysterical, her voice rising above a whisper. I had to calm her down.

"Shh, baby. I'm sorry." I pulled her onto my chest and stroked her hair. "You know I love you, Esme. Fuck, I love you more than anything. You're my life. The thought of watching you marry another man kills me."

"Then don't. Don't watch it. Let's leave," she whispered into my shirt.

"Baby, have you really thought this through? I mean thoroughly? I have nothing to give you, Esme."

"That's not true. You love me, Carlisle. He doesn't. He loves my father's bank account and my trust fund. The money, the clothes, my family's name… none of it matters. I would rather live in the back of a minivan with you than in the biggest house in the world with him."

I smiled, shaking my head. She was something else. "This all sounds very romantic, baby, but the reality is a little different. You're talking about both of us leaving everything behind and starting over somewhere else. I don't have any money, Es. How are we even going to afford food or a hotel room?"

"I have cash. I've been stashing some for a while for when I knew I would need it. I made up my mind, packed a bag, left a letter for my parents and one for Charles, and didn't look back."

Her resolve amazed me. My girl knew what she wanted, that was for sure.

I fell silent as she traced the outline of the words on my chest – the tattoo she insisted I get even though we had to bribe the artist because I was underage at the time, the tattoo my father would lose his shit over if he ever saw it.

_The mind is its own place, and in itself _

_Can make a heav'n of hell, a hell of heav'n._

I could practically hear his voice in my head, ranting about blasphemy, and defiling my body, and who knows what else he would come up with to convince himself I was going to hell for marking myself with words that actually held some value to me.

If only he knew I was about to narrowly escape that fate. Hell for me was watching the love of my life marry someone else.

This idea was crazy, but sometimes I guess you just have to let go and hope it all works out. That was all we could do at this point. She wouldn't live without me, and I wasn't willing to let her get away. Not now that I knew I really had her.

I kissed Esme's forehead. "I love you," I said.

"Is that a 'yes, I'll run away with you'?"

I laughed quietly as I rolled her off me and leaned in to kiss her again.

"Pack me a bag, baby. I'm going to leave a note."

"What do you want me to pack?"

"Anything," I said, tossing her a duffle bag from my closet. "None of it even matters."

She smiled and wrapped her arms around me, kissing the side of my neck.

"Thank you, Carlisle," she whispered. The feel of her breath against my skin made me shiver.

I shook my head to clear it and smiled. "I can't believe we're doing this."

She kissed the tip of my nose playfully and walked to the closet. Everything about her was back to the Esme I fell in love with. I hadn't seen this Esme in a long time. I knew we were doing the right thing. Even if I couldn't give her everything I felt she deserved, she somehow found something in me she loved.

I was the luckiest fucker in the world.

I scribbled my father a quick note telling him Esme and I were leaving, that I was sorry for everything, and that I would call when we got wherever we were going.

Fifteen minutes later we threw both bags into the backseat of the jeep my father had bought me, and we were off.

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><p><em><span>June 10, 2007<span>_

_Seattle, WA_

I warily walked through the door of the shop at five after seven. I had an appointment at seven to finish the sleeve on my right arm, and Jasper hated when clients were late.

He glanced at me, but made no move to stop what he was doing. Jasper wasn't the type of person you interrupted. It was smarter to wait him out, knowing he would acknowledge you when he was ready.

I couldn't stop fidgeting in my seat while I waited for him to finish up the stencil he was working on. Jasper had been inking me since we arrived in Seattle two years ago, and in that time we had developed a solid friendship. He was the only man I would trust to ink me, but I was still nervous to get this one finished.

Esme couldn't wait to see the finished product, and I didn't want to disappoint her.

"You realize you're five minutes late." His voice was a little more serious than I would have liked. Jasper was usually pretty chill, but the ink and piercings made him look like a scary motherfucker when he wanted to be intimidating.

"Sorry about that. I got held up late at work."

"No excuses, Carlisle. When I say seven I mean seven."

"Uhh…" I was stuttering and sweating now. I had never seen Jasper angry but I had heard he could lose his cool.

He looked up and laughed. "I'm just fucking with you, man."

"You asshole," I said, punching him in the arm, not even caring if I messed up his stencil.

"It was worth it to freak you out a little. You should have seen your face, bro."

"I'm glad you think it's funny," I muttered.

"Made my night," he replied. "So, you ready to get this thing finished?"

I nodded my reply and we moved to his chair in the front.

Once the last part of my sleeve was on and my arm was bandaged I paid Jasper for the end of the project and told him we would be by next weekend for Esme's next tat.

When we first arrived in Seattle she had been the one who had found Jasper's shop and insisted on a more elaborate piece than was usual for first timers. Jasper had recommended against it and almost flat refused, but she wouldn't take no for an answer. That day solidified our spots as VIP clients of Jasper's.

The image of the two large sparrows facing each other on her right shoulder blade was the sexiest thing I had ever seen. The expert shading work and the small use of color he had incorporated were all the proof I needed to tell me Jasper was a master of his craft. Esme had done the design herself, but Jasper brought it to life.

It took three weeks, but when it was done Jasper told Esme she was the toughest first time client he had ever had, and he was honored to have done her piece. That moment was probably the proudest I had ever felt. My Esme was tough as nails and never complained once about the pain I knew she had to be in, never having been inked before.

In the end Jasper hung a picture of her tat in his shop among the other examples of his best work. Every time I came in here I looked at it, loving that it was on my girl's back.

I exited the shop and climbed into the Jeep that I still wouldn't let go of and headed for home. Most of the remnants of our lives in Columbus were gone, but I loved my Jeep. It was here to stay.

Just as I had known would happen Esme's family completely disowned her. They had never liked me even when they thought we were just friends. They saw me as the rebel son of the preacher who was wasting every opportunity he was given.

It was a miracle they hadn't kept us apart by force.

What shocked me was how easily Esme took the news. She willingly gave up a multi-million dollar trust fund for me like it was nothing. If that wasn't love I was sure there was no such thing.

I turned the corner into our apartment complex and parked the Jeep next to the beat up Stratus we had managed to buy her on Craigslist.

I kicked some trash out of the way as I made my way to the rusted steps that led to our second floor apartment. It wasn't great – in fact it was total shit – but it was what we had, and as long as Esme was there, it was home.

My job in the receiving department at the grocery store didn't bring in much, and Esme's receptionist job at the local woman's shelter covered the basic bills, and that was it.

On the upside, all those thin skirts she got for work were my favorite thing to come home to.

Our lives no longer allowed for many luxuries but the one extra expense that was important to us was the ink. Every single piece the both of us had was a part of our personal history. There was no looking through a book and picking something generic for us.

Our tattoos were a visual representation of our story, mapped out on our skin.

Despite the fact Esme only had the one piece so far, it said more about her than she could ever say in words. Those birds were her freedom, and even though that piece had cost half our rent it was something I would never deny her.

I turned my key in the lock and walked in to find Esme sitting on the couch looking through college catalogs. She had one for every single school that was within driving distance, and that was a lot.

"Hey baby," she said without looking up.

"Hey," I replied. My voice sounded as exhausted as I felt. I knew she would be worried.

I went to the kitchen and grabbed a beer out of the refrigerator. We were running low on food. I sighed, wondering if a twenty would be enough to at least get us through the week.

I returned to the small living room and sat down beside her on the couch, slipping my arm around her shoulder and kissing her cheek.

"How was your day?" she asked. "You sound tired." I smiled. I knew she would get concerned. She always did.

"It was okay. Just the same old back-breaking work."

She frowned slightly, but I knew she didn't want me to see it.

"Let me see the tat," she said, turning around to face me and effectively distracting herself from my exhaustion. She ran her fingers over the bandage that covered my wrist and began to slowly unwrap it. The area was still red, but even that couldn't take away from how good the elaborate tribal band looked now that it was complete.

Jasper purposefully made it so the design was obscure, but if you looked closely enough you could see the two intersecting birds. It was meant to be a tribute to the sparrows that spread across Esme's back.

She ran her fingers over the outline, just above my skin, careful not to touch the ink while it was still healing.

"It's amazing, Carlisle," she said with a smile. "Jasper did an incredible job. I think it's better than mine."

I replaced the bandage and took another sip from my beer. "Nothing is better than yours, Es."

"You're too sweet, babe."

I smiled and picked up one of her catalogs. "Have you decided what you want to do?"

"Everything!" Her excitement was infectious. We had both been discussing going to school for a while, but Esme was the one who threw herself into planning her college career. I knew I wanted to study literature, but I hadn't thought much further than that yet. Esme's indecision irritated her, but she had plenty of time to choose. There was no rush.

"If you do everything when am I ever going to see you?"

"I'm joking, dumbass. I can't decide. There are so many things I want to try. I was never even allowed to figure out what I'm good at back in Columbus."

"I know, baby," I said, rubbing her shoulder. "You don't have to choose anything right away, though. Just get the core courses out of the way."

She nodded. "I've been thinking a lot lately about architecture. Like all those books I have. I would love to design those buildings."

She would be incredible at that. She was always drawing things, and bought every damn book Barnes & Noble had on the subject, claiming if I could spend my money on ink and classic literature, she could spend hers of coffee table books about buildings.

"That's sounds perfect for you."

I leaned in and kissed her neck as she continued flipping through catalogs. She tilted her head to give me access and let one hand rub my arm. "Your dad called today," she finally said.

I pulled back from her neck and reached for the box under the coffee table. My relationship with my father had somehow survived our leaving and was even improving with the distance between us, but I still didn't like to think about him without being high first.

Too much shit had gone wrong between us, and those memories were not something I wanted to surface right now.

"Did you talk to him?" I asked as I lit one of the glass pipes.

"Yeah, he's doing okay. Says there are more people coming to church than he's ever had before."

I took another hit from the pipe and blew her a shotgun. "He say anything else?"

She looked down and shifted toward me, laying her head on the back of the couch. "Charles is getting married."

What the hell? Someone wanted to marry that fuck up?

"Did he say who?"

"Rosalie Hale."

I snorted. "Well that figures. Her dad's a banker. Charles probably saw dollar signs and jumped like a puppy."

She laughed and grinned at me. I blew her another shotgun before putting the pipe out.

"You're not sad, are you?" I asked, watching the way her face fell again.

She shook her head. "No. I'm just worried for her. I wish I could warn her somehow, but I know she wouldn't even listen to me. You and I are still seen as the neighborhood runaways, the fuckups who deserve to live in poverty."

"Hey," I said, lifting her chin. "Don't you dare start quoting your family. Those people don't know what an amazing daughter they have."

"I know. I never want to take any of it back. I just hate that Rosalie is going to fall into that fate. She's too innocent. She trusts everybody. That's the worst trait a person could have around Charles."

"I know, baby, but we can't fight her battles for her. We left for a reason."

She smiled. "You're right, just like you always are. Come on." She took my hand and led me through the door to our small bedroom. "I'm sleepy."

"Are you really?" I asked pulling her back against me and biting her neck.

She moaned and I grinned against her skin. "I didn't think so."

She pulled away and gave me a small shove. "Go rest, baby. I need to take my piercings out."

I held up my wrist to show her the bandage. She rolled her eyes. "As if you don't know how to take care of your own ink. Come on." We walked into the bathroom where she ran some water in the sink.

We had discovered this the day I got my first tat when we were still in high school. The artist insisted it needed to be washed after two hours, and I insisted that Esme was the best person for this job.

Every time I got a new piece she handled of the aftercare.

She ran my wrist under the water once before lightly massaging the ink with smooth, even movements.

Watching her hands on me was hot under any circumstances but there was something incredibly intense about seeing her touch the ink that was a tribute to her.

I ran my fingers over the back of her neck, grinning when she shivered and shot me a sideways look that screamed for me to do more. I pulled the strap of her tank top down and traced the outline of the sparrows on her back.

She grabbed a washcloth and began patting my wrist to dry it. "It looks amazing, babe," she said.

I pulled her closer and ran my mouth over her ear, making her shiver again as goose bumps covered her skin. "Yes, you do," I whispered.

She turned in my arms to face me. "You think you're smooth, don't you?" she asked against my mouth.

"I know I am." I leaned in and kissed her, loving that her breath still tasted like the smoke I had given her.

"Go to bed," she whispered, rubbing my arm.

She moved out of my arms and began removing the piercings from her ears while I walked into the bedroom, shedding my clothes as I made my way to the bed. I collapsed onto it, closing my eyes. I hadn't realized how mentally drained I was. Being physically tired was just part of my everyday existence now, but this was different.

I felt the side of the bed shift as Esme sat down beside me. I ran my hand over her thigh, making her smile. She was so fucking beautiful. To me she was the most beautiful exactly as she was now. Hair pulled back, no makeup, no piercings, wearing shorts and a tank top. Completely natural.

Only I ever saw her this way, and that was an incredible feeling.

I pulled her into my arms and cupped her face in my hands. "I love you, baby."

"I love you too," she whispered against my mouth before kissing me deeply as she slid between the sheets.

Her hand trailed up my arm, and cupped my cheek. The smell of her lotion overwhelmed me, making my head spin. My girl was so incredible. She always knew exactly what I needed without me having to ask for it.

I lifted her palm from my cheek and kissed it as she trailed her foot up my leg and smirked.

I slipped my hand into the waistband of her shorts and slowly dragged them down her perfect legs along with her panties, running my hand back up her inner thigh, purposely avoiding the place I knew she wanted me.

I ran my hands over the smooth skin under her shirt and slipped it over her head as she moved over me, straddling my hips. I pulled her forward and took one of her nipples in my mouth while rolling the other between my fingers.

Her gasps only made me harder. I was desperate to be inside her. She leaned back and pulled her ponytail out, letting her hair fall straight down her back as she lifted herself off me. I stroked myself twice before pulling her down on me, throwing my head back into the pillow as I filled her.

A chill went down my spine as she began to move. Even like this her upbringing was obvious. Every move she made was smooth, thorough. I moved in time with her, lifting her up and bringing her back down, her cries becoming louder with every stroke.

"Fuck," she muttered. "Harder, baby."

I picked up my pace, holding her hips above me as I slammed into her. She closed her eyes and threw her head back as her body tensed. I moved my hand between us, rubbing her clit. I knew Esme's body well enough to know when she was close.

She fell forward onto my chest as her body seized. She buried her face in my shoulder to muffle her screams as I slowed my movements, helping her ride out her orgasm. Her breathing returned to normal as she kissed a trail over my throat and up to my mouth.

I rolled her onto her side and pulled her leg onto my hip, kissing her as I picked up my pace again and slammed into her, desperately needing to come. It didn't take long as she tightened around me again, her body shaking with the aftershocks of her own orgasm. Pleasure shot through me and I collapsed onto my back, pulling her onto my chest.

Our breathing calmed after a few minutes, and I kissed the top of her head as she rolled off me and put her head on my shoulder.

We were silent for several minutes, no sound except the continual rhythm of the ceiling fan and the sound of cars on the highway.

Esme rubbed slow circles on my chest with her palm, the motion relaxing me. I was almost asleep when she finally spoke.

"Carlisle?"

"Hmm?"

"I love you."

I smiled. This woman was fucking amazing. I hated that she had to sleep under a thirty dollar blanket from Wal-Mart in a rundown apartment in a bad neighborhood when she was raised for so much more.

She had sacrificed so many incredible opportunities for me, and because of that I would always work to be someone she could be proud of, even though I never stopped failing.

I stroked her hair and kissed her forehead. "I love you, Esme."

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><p><strong>*peeks out from behind hands* Still with me? Awesome. <strong>

**Mackenzie L. is the beta. Texasunshine, kr2009, and luvrofink are the prereaders. I would not be writing this without their support. I love them hard.**

**For any legal eagles out there who have their eyebrows raised at me over Esme's trust fund all I can say is have some faith in me. I won't reveal a major plot point, but I do know the trust laws. Just hang in for a while.**

**Bonus points to the people who can tell me where Carlisle's tattoo comes from. **

**I would love to hear your initial thoughts on Tattlisle and Inkme! They mean a lot to me.**


	3. Chapter 2

**Thank you Mackenzie, Kelley, Lauren, and Luv for the silly, fun, sweet comments. And thank you Colleen for asking all the right questions thereby inspiring half-naked pancake cooking.**

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to their respective owners. The author of this story in no way profits from its use or distribution.**

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><p><em><span>August 22, 2005<span>_

_Somewhere in Western Indiana_

We pulled into the parking lot of a rundown diner on the side of the road at half past seven. I had been driving since three-thirty and had gotten no sleep in the last twenty-four hours. I was exhausted and I was starving.

We slid into a booth, ordered two cups of coffee, and a cinnamon roll for Esme.

"You should eat something," she said, watching me sip my coffee.

I shook my head. "I'll be fine once I've had some caffeine. We'll probably have to find a motel so I can get some sleep, though."

She nodded. "We could both use a nap."

She was so damn calm and relaxed it unnerved me. She acted like this was any other morning. Like we were any other couple having breakfast together.

"How can you be so calm?" I asked.

She ate her breakfast like nothing was wrong, but she looked just as exhausted as I felt when she looked up and our eyes met.

"What do you mean?"

What did I mean? Was she being serious right now?

"Esme, we ran away together in the middle of the night. Don't you think our families have figured things out by now?"

She shrugged. "Probably. That's good, though. Maybe they've finally figured out I'm not the perfect daughter they think I am."

That statement would have been laughable if it wasn't so true. Her parents saw a perfect, kind, thoughtful princess when they looked at her.

That wasn't Esme _at all._

Not that she wasn't kind or thoughtful; she was the most generous and gentle person I had ever known. She would give the five hundred dollar shirt off her back to any girl who needed one. She didn't care about her family's money, even though the luxuries afforded by it were something she was used to. She was so fucking smart too. She had never gotten less than an A in her life, and loved to read for hours at a time.

She could never be accused of being stuck-up either, despite her family's wealth. In high school if a girl ran into the bathroom crying over something, Esme would be the one following her in there to offer comfort.

But she also smoked, and drank, and fucked me throughout her entire sham of a relationship with Charles. She had dabbled in harder drugs and hung out with kids who her parents would lose their minds if they knew about.

Including me.

Her family had never liked me even though they went to my father's church. I didn't know if they saw the looks we shared, or if they had heard the stories that went around about the black sheep of Pastor Cullen's family, but either way they hated me. I didn't really care what they thought. They didn't know me. They would probably fall over if Esme ever told them I could recite nearly all of Shakespeare's sonnets.

They looked at people who weren't exactly like them as if they were nothing at all. Like we weren't real people, with real thoughts and feelings, just because we did fucked up things.

I briefly wondered if Esme had told her parents exactly why she had left and that she was with me. I could only imagine their reaction.

"What exactly did you tell your parents in your letter?"

She looked up from the cinnamon roll she had been pulling apart.

"I told them I was tired of pretending that I wanted the life they were setting me up for, that I had never loved Charles and never would, and that I was leaving with you because you were the only person who really knew me and loved me."

I didn't know what I had done to deserve this woman. She loved me more than I could have thought possible.

"I also told them they might as well write Charles a large check and get it over with since that's all he ever wanted from me."

I laughed and shook my head. She was something else.

"Come on, baby," I said, throwing some money on the table. "Let's go find a place where we can rest."

After a few minutes of driving we found a small motel a little ways down the same road. It wasn't much, but it would be okay for a couple hours. I knew Esme had cash, and I didn't like her having to stay in a place like this, but it was our only option right now. We would probably need that cash later.

I almost punched the dick working behind the counter at the motel for the way he looked at Esme while getting our room key, but it wasn't worth it. I knew how it looked when I asked for only one day and no nights. Fuck what he thought. I was too tired to call him on it.

We walked into the room and threw our bags down on the bed. It was just as bad as I knew it would be, but Esme didn't seem fazed at all. She grew up in a bedroom twice the size of this room, outfitted with the most expensive things her family could buy, yet she sat down on the edge of the bed and pulled her hair into a ponytail like she was at home in Columbus, perfectly at ease with her surroundings.

I shook my head, smiling at her.

"What's so funny?" she asked, looking up at me.

"You," I replied. "You're too comfortable with all this. I'm waiting for the reality to catch up with you."

"Has it occurred to you that maybe I don't mind this, even though we both know I'm used to more? Has it occurred to you that I don't care about the conditions we're in because it means I get to be with you?"

I sat down next to her. "It's not just that, Esme. I'm still in shock that we actually ran, and you act like we're on vacation or something."

She shrugged. "I know I never said anything, and I'm sorry for that, but I had been planning this for a while. I won't lie, part of me nearly stayed, thinking things could just continue the way they were and I could still be with you on the side, but in the end I had to get out of there, Carlisle." She shivered. "I couldn't stay. You deserve more than that from me. You deserve all of me."

I looked at her suspiciously. "What aren't you telling me?"

"What do you mean?"

"Why else couldn't you stay? There's no way it's just me."

She turned to face me and that's when I saw it. There was a fucking bruise on the side of her neck; a bruise the size of a finger. I moved her chin and saw two on the other side, one right above the other.

"Esme, what is this?"

She pulled away and looked down. "It's nothing."

"It sure as hell is not nothing, Esme! Did he do this to you? Tell me that bastard didn't put his hands on you." I grabbed her roughly, losing my cool as my mind rebelled against the evidence in front of me.

I was sure she thought I hadn't noticed the tear that slipped down her cheek as she threw my hands off her and moved to the other side of the room, yanking open the dusty curtains with a little too much force.

"What do you want me to say, Carlisle?" Her voice was angrier than I had ever heard her as she turned to face me. "You want me to admit that it's exactly what it looks like? It is. You can see that for yourself so there's nothing I need to say."

More tears slipped down her cheeks as she stared at me. My heart constricted. I hated seeing her in pain. She was so strong all the time and almost never cried, but when she did it broke me instantly.

I silently crossed the room, picked her up, and laid her down on the bed with me. She held onto me like I was her lifeline while she cried into my shirt.

It took everything I had not to jump into the Jeep, drive back to Columbus and kill Charles. My nerves were on fire at the thought of what I had never known he was doing to her. I had so many questions that I knew I didn't really want the answers to, but I needed them anyway.

Esme was my first priority, though. She knew I couldn't stand to see her cry. If my silence comforted her my questions could wait. I rubbed her back, feeling terrible for lashing out at her as her breathing calmed.

I barely felt her whisper into my soaked shirt. "I love you, Carlisle."

"I'm so sorry, Esme," I whispered into her hair. "I didn't mean to yell at you. Why didn't you ever tell me, baby? How long was this going on?"

"I'm sorry I hid it from you. I knew you would hurt him. As much as I hate Charles I couldn't let you do something like that. You act tough, Carlisle, but you could never hurt anyone. Not without causing yourself pain."

"You're damn right I would have hurt him. Baby, he hurt you! He needs to answer for that."

She placed her palm on my chest to quiet me.

"It wasn't that often," she said.

"Esme," I cut her off with a groan. "That doesn't matter."

She looked up me, obviously annoyed. "Will you shut up and let me talk."

I grinned in spite of myself and let her finish.

She took a deep breath and kissed me before continuing. "I lived two lives, Carlisle. There was my proper family life that Charles was part of, and there was the life I wanted to live with you and our friends. I didn't want there to be any overlap between those lives."

"Esme," I interrupted. "It's not overlap. He was abusing you, baby. You should have told someone, anyone."

"I did," she said. "I told my parents. They told me I must have been mistaken because Charles was a wonderful boy and he would never hurt me." Her eyes looked straight through me for a moment like I wasn't even there. "They shut me down without ever really hearing me out."

I pulled her even closer and ran my hand through her hair. I hated her family. They would never understand just how badly they had mistreated her.

"I'm sorry you felt like you couldn't tell me, but I understand. I would have done something stupid. Something that probably would have taken me away from you. And that little asshole isn't worth me losing you."

"You didn't understand a minute ago," she pointed out somewhat sarcastically.

"I was angry a minute ago. Esme, can you imagine what it was like for me seeing those marks on your skin? I can't get the image out of my head of him choking you. I reacted in anger at him, and I know I scared you, and I'm sorry for that, but baby, you need to see how much it hurts for me to look at those bruises."

"Then don't look at them," she whispered, kissing the side of my neck.

I lightly traced my finger over one of the bruises. "I can't, Esme. Each one is like a stab in the gut."

"I'm sorry," she said.

My heart broke. "You have nothing to be sorry for, babe. It's not your fault."

"I don't like that the bruises hurt you. I love you," she whispered softly. I could tell she was becoming exhausted. We both hated arguing with each other, and we were both incredibly low on sleep. It was a miracle neither of us had lashed out further than we had.

I pulled the blanket up around us and stroked her hair as sleep finally took her, and my thoughts spun around my head. She may not have liked that her bruises hurt me, but I knew they were only a small part of a larger issue.

Everything about Esme had the ability to hurt me.

My last thought before sleep claimed me was that it didn't matter. None of it mattered in the long run. We had each other. We made this bed, and we would lay in it together. Whatever happened would happen. As long as I had my girl nothing else mattered.

* * *

><p><em><span>June 18, 2007<span>_

_Seattle, WA_

The Saturday that Esme's second tattoo was scheduled for was my first Saturday off in a month. I woke up at seven, got up, had a glass of milk, slipped back into bed with my girl and slept till noon.

It was a rare day when we were both off work so we always took advantage of it.

Esme had a thing for cartoons, and an average Saturday morning would find her on the couch with a bowl of cereal watching some show about these two little kids who build shit all day, while I got ready for work.

I hated working nearly every Saturday, but that was the reality of working in a grocery store. There was nothing I could do about it at this point and if we did both start school soon like we had discussed we would need the stability my job provided.

The shelter where Esme worked was funded mainly through private donations, and there were always rumors of layoffs.

"You missed your show," I told her as she woke up, stretching and yawning.

"Hmm?" she asked as she rolled over to face me and propped her head up on her elbow.

I moved a piece of hair out of face and leaned in to kiss her. "Your show," I repeated. "That one about those little kids who are way too fucking smart and their crazy sister's always trying to bust them or whatever."

She laughed. "It's called Phineas and Ferb, Carlisle."

"What the hell kind of names are those?" I asked.

She rolled her eyes. "It's too early to argue about cartoon character's names."

"It's after noon," I pointed out.

"We slept till noon?"

I nodded. "We did."

"Good," she said, stroking my cheek. "You needed a good sleep."

I couldn't argue with that. If it wasn't thoughts of how we were going to make it to the next paycheck keeping me up, it was the neighbors with their constant weekend parties. That thought always made me laugh. In high school that was us, partying till dawn and then passing out at eight in the morning.

Now the reality of working, and paying bills, and keeping food on the table made us hate the neighbors for keeping us awake past eleven.

I cringed at that thought and pulled Esme to me, laying her head on my chest. "When did we get so old, Es?"

"Carlisle, we're twenty."

"I feel like I've aged thirty years since we moved out here and it's only been two."

"Don't be so dramatic," she said, rolling over to put her glasses on. She stood up and turned to look at me with a smile on her face. "What do you want for breakfast?"

"Those French toast sandwiches you make."

"Those have to be prepared the night before, Carlisle. Pick something else."

"What about pancakes?"

"Okay," she said as she walked toward the bathroom. "You have to help, though."

I groaned, rolling out of bed. Sometimes I swore the only reason she ever wanted my help in the kitchen was so she could laugh at me when I screwed up.

I made my way into the living room, flicking on the TV as I heard the shower start running. I briefly considered joining her, but if I did it would be dinnertime before I got my pancakes, and we had an appointment at Jasper's in an hour and a half.

It was only a few minutes later that she came out of the bedroom, her hair wrapped up in a towel, and beckoned me to join her in the kitchen. She pulled out the Bisquick as I came up behind her and wrapped my arms around her waist.

"You decided not to get dressed today?" she asked.

"You like me in just my boxers."

"Always," she agreed.

She began to spoon the mix onto the cook top and handed me the spatula, moving out of my arms.

"You get to flip them."

"I get to what?"

Her face was full of triumph. "I got them started. You get to flip them. Don't whine; this is the easy part."

"Esme, nothing is easy for me in the kitchen, or did you forget about the day I nearly set your parent's million dollar kitchen on fire?"

"These aren't adult brownies, Carlisle. They're pancakes. Easiest food in the world to make, and you need to flip them now before they burn."

I stuck the spatula under a pancake and flipped, causing it to land in the sink. I turned to see Esme looking at it like she wanted to cry. Instead she laughed. "I should never have handed you a spatula. Move out of the way."

"Gladly." I moved aside as she flipped the rest of the pancakes like the perfect cook she was.

"Why are you so perfect at everything?" I asked.

She snorted. "Says the man who can sneak Tennyson quotes into everyday conversation."

"I can't flip a damn pancake."

She grabbed a plate and began scooping our food onto it. "I know," she said. "Now go get some clothes on so we can eat and go meet Jasper."

I grabbed some jeans and a shirt that had just been washed, and went back to the dining room to find Esme pouring two glasses of orange juice. "It's afternoon," I pointed out. "We don't need to have juice."

Of course we do," she said. "We're having breakfast, Carlisle. Breakfast means orange juice."

I kissed her cheek and sat down. "You're the boss, babe."

Esme's cooking was always my favorite, but she had far outdone herself with these. They were some fucking incredible pancakes. I never believed I deserved her cooking, or the way she always did extra things, like setting the table, and using nice dishes, but I loved it when she cooked for me.

She was too fucking good to me. I wanted to be able to give her a perfect life with a white picket fence, and kids everywhere, and even a golden retriever if she wanted one.

As much as I knew that just wasn't us right now, I recognized one day it could be.

We finished our breakfast and started cleaning up. I washed the dishes to help speed things along, knowing that Esme was excited for her next tattoo and was anxious to get going.

If the birds on her back were her freedom, this piece would be the one that kept her grounded in who she was and where she came from.

It wasn't elaborate and would only be seen by people she wanted to show it to, but that was what made it perfect.

By the time we were on the road I could tell her mind was definitely on her ink.

There had been a young girl at the shelter where Esme worked who came in with her mother after her father had hit her one night. Apparently the man had been abusing his wife for a long time, but hitting their daughter was where the mother drew the line.

Several weeks later it was in the news that the mother had gone back to her husband. That was the last night anyone saw her alive.

The little girl ended up in foster care and passed away six months later. It was all the news had talked about for days. They suspected neglect on the part of the grandparents but nothing was ever proven.

Esme cried herself to sleep every night for a week after that.

She was sure there was something she could have done while the mother and her young daughter were staying at the shelter that could have prevented the snowball of events that led to their deaths.

She spent days going over every detail of the mother's story in her head – drawing from her own experience with abuse to come up with anything she could have done. In the end I had to step in and tell her she couldn't change the past, but she could make sure she never forgot that little girl she had been so attached to.

That was when she got the idea for the tat. She wanted something that would not only remind her of that little girl, but would also remind her of her own past and where she came from.

Jasper was eager to create this piece for her, even for all its simplicity. Jasper specialized in elaborate works of art, but he couldn't wait to get three simple words and some numbers onto Esme's skin. What he really loved was creating pieces that meant something to the client, no matter how simple or complex the piece was.

The concentration in Jasper's face was astounding as he expertly spelled out the little girl's tribute on Esme's ribcage.

When we first came to get her birds I was more concerned with Esme's comfort than anything. I didn't know how she would react, but my girl was amazing. She hardly let the pain bother her at all.

This time I watched the process as Jasper put the finishing touches on the piece and leaned back to admire it. It was only three Latin words and a date, just below her left breast.

_Noli umquam oblivisci_

_7-23-06_

The script looked incredible spreading over her ribcage, and she beamed as she looked at it in the mirror.

"Do you think it's good enough for her, Carlisle?"

"It's perfect, Esme."

Because Esme wanted this piece to be so private, Jasper made her an exception and didn't take a picture for his book, even though he seemed like he wanted to.

We climbed into the jeep after paying and thanking Jasper. "Do you want to go home?" I asked.

"Let's go down to the park for a little while," she replied, watching out the side window, her mind clearly on her inked tribute.

I had figured she might ask for this trip. Visiting the Olympic Sculpture Park was quickly becoming her favorite thing to do, and it was somewhere she always went when she needed time to think about things.

I parked across the street when we arrived and wrapped my arms around Esme's shoulder as we entered.

No place in Seattle made Esme's eyes light up the way this park did.

Every time we came here I became more and more convinced that my girl was truly meant to be an architect. The books she read all day were rubbing off on her to the point where she was starting to point out the official names of details in our apartment. And I had caught her more than once drawing little sketches of the apartment and rearranging rooms to how she would like them.

That's why I loved bringing her here. All the sculptures, with their lines and curves, made her feel at ease in a different city. She loved to run around looking at them all. I swore every time we came here she found something new, when I only ever saw the same huge chunks of metal.

It never mattered what I thought, though. This place made my girl happy, and I fucking loved it for that.

Instead of stopping at every sculpture we came to along the path like I had expected her too, Esme led us straight through the park and toward the water. She leaned against the railing, looking straight down at the water.

"Do you think it's possible to see the water from heaven, Carlisle?"

I came up behind her and loosely wrapped my arms around her waist, being careful not to disturb the bandage over her ink. I kissed the spot right behind her ears and whispered in her ear.

"I'm sure she can see the whole world, babe."

"I'm going to go register for classes on Monday," she said quietly. "I've wasted enough time. It's time to take control of my life and do something with it."

It was time for both of us to grow up and start being more serious. We had created a life together and we had learned not to take it for granted.

I placed my chin on her shoulder and nodded. "I will too."

* * *

><p><strong>Esme's tattoo is Latin for 'never forget'.<strong>

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	4. Chapter 3

**Thank you so much to Mackenzie L for the beta work and to kr2009 and texasunshine for pre-reading. And thank you to anhanninen and trepiditiousmusings for general hand-holding and for being excited even though I warned them about this chapter. **

**This chapter is dedicated to alexa-hallywell because if Tattlisle had a fan club she would be its president. **

**Standard warnings apply, but this chapter also does contains mild hard drug use.**

**I'm going to go hide somewhere now. **

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to their respective owners. The author of this story in no way profits from its use or distribution.**

* * *

><p><em>May 15, 2003<em>

_Columbus, OH_

"When you were a kid what did you want to be when you grew up?"

I brushed my fingertips across Esme's cheek, sweeping her hair back from her face. She was staring absentmindedly at the stars from her spot on the ground with her head in my lap. I could tell she was fighting the urge to yawn, and I would have to get her home soon, but I couldn't stand to leave. I didn't want to share her.

It was bad enough that I knew she wasn't really mine.

"I've never really thought about it," I told her, before taking a drink of my beer.

She looked thoughtful for a moment before responding. "I think you would make a good teacher."

I choked on my beer.

"Teach? Esme, are you sure you're talking about me?"

She laughed and rubbed my arm where it lay across her chest. "Of course I'm talking about you. I think it's a good fit."

"How do you figure that?"

"Do you even realize how smart you are?" she asked.

"I don't exactly connect with children, Es," I pointed out.

She rolled her eyes. "I'm not telling you to teach kindergarten. You could be a college professor."

I leaned forward and kissed her. "It sounds like you've spent a lot of time thinking about my future."

"I worry about you, Carlisle."

"Baby, why would you worry about me?"

She glanced around and then waved her arm at our surroundings. "In case you haven't noticed, it's two in the morning. We're on a blanket in the middle of the country and there are beer bottles everywhere."

"Ah, but not all of those were ours," I pointed out.

She sat up and moved so she was straddling my lap, then leaned forward and kissed me gently. I knew she didn't have the same idea as I did, but I couldn't help but wrap my arms around her waist, pulling her closer.

"I love being with you, Carlisle. I don't want to see anything happen to you. I know I'm not innocent in any of this, and I'm not trying to sound patronizing. I just think you're so smart, baby, and I hate to see you waste it."

"I see," I said, nodding. "_Knowledge comes, but wisdom lingers,"_I whispered against her throat.

I felt her smile against my temple as her hand ran through my hair. "You just proved my point."

I pulled back and looked at her seriously.

"I'm not wasting anything, Es. And you're right you're not innocent in any of this," I said, pulling the rolling papers out of her back pocket. "You party just as hard as I do."

She tilted her head and smiled. "Okay, I had that coming. We're fucked up, baby."

I nodded, laying back and rolling us over so she was caged beneath me in my arms. "We really are," I agreed, leaning forward to kiss her again as her arms came up around my shoulders.

* * *

><p><em>September 30, 2007<em>

_Seattle, WA_

"Hi."

My head snapped up at the sound of a voice hovering above me. I had only been sitting there for five minutes and was already falling asleep. Perfect way to make a good impression on the first day of college.

When my eyes focused to the light I saw a girl in front of me. She squeezed through the space in front of my desk and took the one next to mine.

She was nice looking. She looked young, but then again I wasn't the standard eighteen-year-old freshman. She probably was.

Even though she was pretty hot she didn't look a thing like Esme. Her hair was blond and she was taller. Her chest looked fake, but still great.

She grinned when she caught me staring.

"I'm Kate," she said.

I cleared my throat. "I'm Carlisle."

"Carlisle? That's an interesting name."

"Yeah. It was my grandfather's."

"That's cool," she said. "So what's your major?"

"Huh?" I looked up from where I had been sketching stick figures on my notebook. "Oh, it's Literature."

Her eyes widened and she smiled. "Wow, that's awesome!"

"Yeah," I agreed, not really sure what was so awesome about it. I liked to read. It made sense to me to major in it.

"So where did you go to high school?" she asked.

"I'm not from Seattle. My girlfriend and I moved out here from Ohio."

Her face fell. "Oh… Well, that's cool."

"Yeah," I replied, not knowing what to say.

"So, how long have you and your girlfriend been together?"

"A few years," I replied. "Since our sophomore year."

"And you decided to go to college together?"

I laughed. "No, it wasn't like that. Uh, we just decided to move out here one day out of the blue." I didn't feel the need to tell the whole story to a total stranger. I hoped she wouldn't push it.

She looked confused. "How old are you?"

"Twenty," I said.

She smiled again, and leaned forward a little. Her tits were about to fall out of her shirt. I was sure she thought that shit was subtle.

The professor walked in before she could say anything. The lecture was long, but I tried to pay attention. Esme was the one who was excited about this. I was just along for the ride. I had to admit it would be nice to explore the books I had always read a little deeper, but I wasn't looking forward to the other classes I had to take.

The day we registered Esme was practically bouncing while we waited in line. I smiled, thinking about how much she loved all this. I had been promoted at the grocery store a month ago to a lead position in receiving. The increase in pay meant Esme could cut back her hours at the shelter and we could both go to school.

We got a good amount of financial aid and my dad had even chipped in. The day we registered, Esme was so excited she went all out and bought a bunch of school sweatshirts, and pens, and notebooks, and I was pretty sure there were more damn index cards in my apartment than I would ever use, but I wasn't about to argue against whatever made her happy.

The professor rambled for what felt like hours. All he really did was talk about the syllabus and explain what we would be learning. I was sure I could have figured all that out for myself.

I was relieved when class finally ended. I couldn't wait to get home and take a nap with my girl.

"That was interesting," Kate said. I was gathering my stuff and didn't look up but I hummed in agreement.

When I finally straightened I noticed she was watching me, biting her lip and looking nervous.

"Hey, so I don't know if it's really your thing, but there's a party this weekend close to campus. Wanna come?"

"I don't know," I replied, rubbing the back of my neck nervously. Esme wouldn't like it at all if I said yes. "I have to work, and I don't think my girlfriend would like it."

"Oh come on," she said. "Have a little fun. That's what college is all about."

I didn't feel like explaining to her that it wasn't about that for me. I was there to make myself a better person for Esme.

"Let me see your phone," she continued when I didn't respond.

I warily took it out and handed it to her. I assumed she was programming her number in, and was proven right when she handed it back with a grin, brushing her fingers over my hand before picking up her bag.

"I'll see you next class," she said. "Let me know if you change your mind."

I walked out of class, shaking my head, and made my way to the Jeep. I drove the short distance to the apartment, wondering what the fuck to do. I hadn't just hung out and partied in so long and honestly I missed it. Our lives were boring compared to what they used to be. I knew Esme was content, but I was getting restless.

I knew it would piss her off, though, if I said yes. Esme wasn't the jealous type, but going to a party that another girl had invited me to would make any guy's girlfriend angry.

I walked in to find her baking something in the kitchen.

"Hey, babe," she said. "How was your first class?"

"It was good," I told her. "Boring as fuck, but that's okay."

"Carlisle," she reprimanded. "Don't be so negative. The first day is always boring. It'll get better."

"I just don't see why I have to take all these classes that have nothing to do with literature."

She pulled a pan of cupcakes out of the oven and started mixing a bowl of what was probably frosting but just looked like a yellow mess to me.

"They want you to be a well-rounded individual," she said as she picked up a cupcake and started frosting it.

She looked so sexy in her tiny shorts and tank top, making cupcakes. I stepped up behind her and rubbed her shoulders, dropping my voice to whisper in her ear.

"But why do I need to be a well-rounded individual when you're already so well-rounded?" I moved my hands around from her back to cup her breasts.

She moaned softly before swatting at my hands. "Carlisle, I'm making cupcakes."

"I see that."

I reached out and scooped some frosting out of the bowl and onto my finger, bringing it up to her mouth. She grinned before taking my finger into her mouth and swirling her tongue around it, licking off all the icing.

I kissed a path from her shoulder up to her ear while running my free hand under her shirt and over the smooth skin of her abdomen.

"Carlisle," she gasped. "I need to get the cupcakes out."

"No you don't," I said before sucking her earlobe between my teeth. She gripped the counter with both hands as I pulled her against me.

"Do you want to burn the kitchen down?" she asked through gritted teeth.

"I don't care," I whispered against her neck.

"It's the last batch," she said. "Then you can help me frost them." She turned and kissed me, cupping my cheek before pulling back.

I reluctantly let her go, but I didn't let her get far. As soon as she turned off the oven and moved the cupcakes to the cooling rack, I had her back in my arms. I kissed her hard and lifted her off her feet. Her legs automatically circled my waist so that I could sit her down on the counter, never breaking the kiss.

I could hear the clatter of dishes and utensils that hadn't been put away yet, but I didn't care. I used my free hand to sweep away them out of the way so I could lay her back against the counter. I pulled her tank top over her head and tossed it over the bar, into the living room. She laughed as I placed my hand over her stomach motioning for her to lie back.

I grinned as I gathered more icing from the bowl onto my finger.

"Carlisle, what are you doing? You're going to waste all my icing."

"Shh," I soothed. "You can always make more."

She laughed, but let me continue.

I placed my finger on her exposed skin, the cold icing making her shiver. Her legs gripped my waist tighter when she realized what I was going to do.

I carefully began moving my finger, looping it over her skin, spelling out her name. She propped herself up on her elbows to watch me, biting the corner of her lip while she smiled. When I finished I brought my finger to her lips again and watched her tongue lick off the remaining icing.

I leaned forward and slowly licked the icing off her stomach, following the path of each letter. She moaned and tossed her head back, the sound causing me to push my hips into her.

"Carlisle," she gasped as I left a trail of kisses over the spot where the icing had been.

I smirked and straightened up, placing my hands on each of her knees and sliding them up her thighs to pull her shorts down. She removed her legs from my waist so I could slide them off and toss them into the living room where her shirt was.

"When did you get this?" I asked, running my finger over the top of the black lace thong I was certain I had never seen before.

"A few days ago after work," she replied. "It matched the bra."

"You're so sexy, babe. Do you even realize how perfect you are?"

She bit her lip again and covered my hand with hers. She pushed it lower so the tip of my finger now rested against her clit.

"Show me," she whispered.

That was all the encouragement I needed. It took no time at all to remove my own clothing, move her thong to the side, and slide inside her.

"Oh God, babe," she groaned, collapsing back against the counter.

Her eyes closed and she smiled when I began to move. My nails dug into her hips as she met every thrust with one of her own. I didn't know how long we stayed like that, but it didn't matter. I could have spent years loving my Esme.

"Harder," she murmured.

I picked up my pace, slamming into her, loving the sight of her spread out over the counter. I didn't know if I could hold much longer. When she moved her legs up to wrap them around my neck, I knew I would finish first. I hated it, but there was no way to avoid it now. I was too close.

She ran her hands over my arm and picked up my hand where it held her shoulder. She placed a kiss on my palm.

"I love you," she breathed.

I thrust even harder, unable to wait any longer, and came hard. Esme's back arched off the counter as I came down from my high. I pulled out slowly and moved my hand from her hip to rub slow circles over her clit.

She laughed softly as I dropped to my knees and kissed my way up her leg. She moaned when I came up between her legs and leaned in to taste her. One of her hands wound into my hair, holding me there. It wasn't long before her moans turned into a scream and her back arched off the counter again as her legs trembled on my shoulders.

I pulled her into my arms and set her on the floor, keeping a tight hold on her while she recovered.

"That was a nice surprise," she said, reaching up to kiss me.

"So were the cupcakes," I joked as I pulled my clothes back on and grabbed one before heading to the living room.

I sat down and turned on the TV, while Esme finished frosting the cupcakes. She brought me another one when she finished, along with one for herself. I slid my arm over her shoulder when she curled into my side, still wearing nothing but her bra and panties. I still wasn't sure what to think of my first day of class and Kate's invitation, but for now it didn't matter. I was content to spend the afternoon on the couch with my Esme. I would worry about everything else later.

Two days later I walked into class five minutes late. It was raining and I had to park on the far side of campus and walk the long way to the English building.

Great second impression.

"Hey," Kate whispered when I slid into my seat.

"Hi."

"You never called." She sounded hurt.

"Oh, yeah," I replied, again not knowing how to respond to her.

"So did you think about the party?"

I sighed and rubbed my hand down my face. "Yeah," I said. "I'll swing by for a little while."

I knew Esme was going to kill me, but I had no intention of telling her yet. I needed a night of not having to worry about our bills, and school, and work. I was stressed and needed to unwind. In the past Esme would have been right there with me, but she had changed a lot since we moved to Seattle, and I knew better than to think she would be interested in going. And I sure as fuck knew she wouldn't want me to go.

"Great!" Kate said. "You can bring your girlfriend if you want."

The fact that she mentioned Esme as an afterthought pissed me off, but since I wasn't planning on telling her anyway, I let it go.

"It wouldn't really be her thing."

"Well, I'm so glad you're coming."

I nodded and pulled out my notebook, making it obvious I wanted to pay attention to the professor. I really wasn't up for anymore awkward conversation.

On Friday night I told Esme that a kid at the store had an emergency and needed someone to cover his shift so I was staying late.

I hated that I lied to her, but I was looking forward to a night of freedom too much to let it bother me.

I went straight to the house where the party was after I left work. It was only two blocks over from the apartment complex so I knew if I needed to I could leave the car and walk home. I knew I wouldn't get that fucked up, though.

I couldn't go home to Esme looking like I had just been partying.

"There you are!" I heard a shrill voice call out. I turned to see Kate stumbling down the steps toward me. She was already completely wasted.

"Uh, hey," I said.

She grabbed my hand. "Come on, Carlisle. Let's get you a drink."

I shrugged and let her lead me to the kitchen. One drink wouldn't hurt.

She handed me a plastic cup with a beer in it and we walked over to the table where some guys playing beer pong. I watched for a while and even played two games. The more beer I had the more I realized how fucking stupid I was acting, but it didn't even matter anymore.

I wanted to party.

"You want some?" she asked, pulling out a bag of white powder and cutting it on the table.

"Whoa!" I said. "I wouldn't have thought this was your thing."

She grinned and winked. "I'm full of surprises."

It had been a long time since I had done coke. Not since we still lived in Columbus. I did one line, thinking it couldn't hurt since I was already drunk, and sat back in my chair.

Kate moved into my lap while she finished what was on the table. I was so out of it I hardly realized what was going on anymore.

"I like your tats," she said, rubbing my arm. She started to lean forward when a sharp voice cut through the fog in my head.

"Carlisle!"

I stood up suddenly, not even noticing that Kate fell off my lap. I swayed when I turned around, but two large arms caught me, and I thought a tiny hand slapped my face, but I couldn't be sure.

I barely noticed when whoever was holding me dragged me outside and down the sidewalk. I tried to fight the dude off, but his grip was tight.

"You're going home, Carlisle. And you're going to explain to Esme exactly what you've been doing all night."

Her name cut like a knife through the haze of alcohol. _Esme._ Fuck, I was screwed.

I fought harder, struggling to get away. I couldn't face her like this.

"No, Carlisle. You need to go home."

I vaguely noticed myself being helped up a flight of stairs, a weird clicking sound coming from somewhere behind me. I cringed when I heard banging on a door, and I shut my eyes when it opened, the light blinding me.

I was dropped onto the couch and could hear the sound of two female voices whispering from somewhere nearby, before the door closed with a bang.

I assumed I was home, meaning it was Esme who was banging around in the kitchen, the loud sounds of cabinet doors being slammed making my head hurt even more. My high was already coming down, but I was more messed up than I had been in a long time, and it hurt like a motherfucker.

"Sit up," she said in a harsh voice, kicking the side of the couch.

I moved as much as I could. I guessed it was good enough because she shoved a bottle into my hand.

"Drink," she said.

"Esme, I'm sorry…" I began, the words slurring together.

"Don't," she cut me off. "I don't want to hear it. Drink the Gatorade. You need to sober up right now."

I took a sip and set the bottle down.

"Drink it all, Carlisle. I won't wait forever."

I felt the couch shift, and heard more banging in the kitchen a minute later. She came back and shoved a banana into my hand.

"Eat it."

I sat in silence and ate and drank. Every minute I could feel more and more coming back to me from the night. I remembered the party, and Kate, and the coke. I vaguely remembered someone bringing me home but I was afraid to ask who.

I looked up slowly to see Esme sitting in the chair on the other side of the room. She was in a long t-shirt and had her glasses on. She had clearly been woken up by whoever brought me home. Her legs were crossed and she was bouncing her foot against the leg of the chair with her arms crossed over her chest.

She was definitely pissed.

"Jasper says you were at a party."

_Oh, shit._ I had never even seen them there. If he was there and had Alice with him, that explained the clicking on the stairs, and the voice whispering with Esme. Alice never missed anything. She had eyes like a damn hawk. She probably saw Kate on my lap, and I knew she would tell Esme about that.

"You lied to me, Carlisle," she continued. "I don't even want to think about what could have happened if Jasper hadn't found you."

Her voice was clipped and had a hard edge. I wasn't getting out of this easily. I took another sip of coffee before responding.

"I told you I was so-"

"I don't want your apology, Carlisle." She got up and turned off the kitchen light before turning to face me again. "You can sleep where you are. I don't want you in my bed." And with that she turned and walked down the hall, shutting the bedroom door.

The next morning Esme hardly said two words to me. Actually there were three words: _Get off me_, when I tried to hug her good morning.

I drank two whole pots of coffee and took several Tylenol. Eventually my hangover went away and I could see exactly how stupid I had been. Esme still wouldn't speak to me so I had no idea if she knew about Kate or not, but the fact that I had lied to her and gone to a party when I said I was working was enough.

I worked that afternoon and evening, and by the time I got home, Esme was already in our room with the door locked.

The next day was exactly the same, minus the hangover. I wasn't sure how long Esme was going to ignore me, but I was starting to get annoyed. If she would just give me two minutes, all I wanted to do was apologize. I knew I had hurt her, and I knew I had done it consciously. I wasn't trying to justify my actions – I knew I didn't deserve that.

All I wanted to do was tell her I was sorry and that I loved her. That night I brought her roses when I came home from work. I expected her to throw them out, but all she did was look at them for a minute before walking away.

That night I didn't assume I might be able to sleep in our bed. I pulled out the sleeper sofa and got between the blankets while she was still washing the dishes. She gave me a sad smile before turning out the light and going to the bedroom.

I laid there for a long time thinking about how badly I had fucked up. I didn't think I would ever be able to make it up to her. Looking back on that night I could see now how worried and scared she was, even above her anger.

I had never done anything like that. Sure, I had a long history of partying, but so did she. I had never gone behind her back and lied to her about it, though.

I had begun to feel restless in my life and acted out, but now I was paying for it.

And _nothing_was worth Esme being disappointed in me.

I fell into a restless sleep, only to be woken several hours later by a sudden pressure on the side of the sleeper.

I opened my eyes and blinked a few times, before realizing Esme's head was buried in chest and she was clutching my shirt.

I tentatively rubbed her back, hoping like hell she was really there and I wasn't dreaming.

I kissed the top of her head, running my fingers through her hair. "I love you, Esme," I whispered.

Her head snapped up and she smiled softly, stroking my face. "I know you do, Carlisle. I know you do."

"I'm so sorry, sweetheart. I hate what I did to you. I was so stupid. I can't believe what a stupid fuck up I was."

"Carlisle, stop," she said, sighing deeply. "Let me speak. Then you can say whatever you need to."

She sat up, facing me, and crossed her legs. She took my hand and held it between hers in her lap.

"Baby, I know you're sorry. I knew it that night, but I was too angry to accept it then. I'm still angry. I cannot believe you would lie to me like that, Carlisle. That night…" she shivered. "I almost threw you out. It was hard not to let my anger get the best of me. Alice told me… She told me how much beer you had and that you had snorted a line, and a girl was trying to take advantage of your condition."

_Good,_ I thought. Alice didn't realize I knew Kate outside of the party.

She took a deep breath before continuing. "I only want to know one thing from you," she said. "Why did you feel the need to hide this from me?"

I shook my head. "I don't know, baby. I swear, I was so stupid. I shouldn't have lied to you-"

"You're damn right you shouldn't have," she interrupted.

Her words cut straight through me. Esme rarely ever cursed. It only happened when she was injured or in bed. It was one of my favorite things about her. She was so fucking classy. Even a word like 'damn' was not normal for her. She was obviously still angry with me.

"I have no excuse, Esme. I won't make one up. I fucked up, and I'm paying for it now. I _hate_disappointing you, baby; you have to know that."

She nodded.

"I do know that. That's why I don't understand. Who even invited you?"

I rubbed my face with my hands, trying to wake myself up more.

"A girl in one of my classes told me about it." She raised her eyebrows but stayed silent. "I felt like I wanted to really do the college thing, I guess. Babe, we used to do this all the time. I missed it."

"Is that how you want to live your life, Carlisle? It was one thing when we were in high school, but I thought we were going to school now to grow up and actually become something. Not to waste our lives partying."

I sighed. "I know, Esme. I know." I really didn't have anything else to say. Two days of the cold shoulder from the only person I loved had worn me down. I was tired.

"Can you accept my apology?" I asked.

She looked down and was silent for a minute. "I accept your apology, but I need you to understand how deeply you hurt me. What do I have if I can't trust you, Carlisle?"

"I don't know how many times I can tell you I'm sorry and that I messed up and that I hate myself for it before-"

"Baby, stop." She placed her hand on my chest.

"I didn't mean to sound like I was accusing you." She stretched out beside me and placed her head on my chest. "I'm sorry for sounding that way. I accept your apology. Can you accept mine, and promise never to lie to me again?"

I smiled. "Yes, beautiful."

"Are you ready to come back to the bed?"

I laughed. "God, yes. Why did we ever buy a sleeper? I hate this couch."

She smiled and took my hand and led me down the hall to the bedroom. I had made such a huge mistake and knew I still owed her so much more than a verbal apology, but for now all I wanted was to crawl into our bed and hold her for the rest of the night.

* * *

><p><strong>Don't hurt me, please! I know that wasn't easy, but this is a high drama story. I'm considering writing an outtake of the last part of this chapter from Esme's POV, so let me know if you would like to see that.<strong>


	5. Chapter 4

**I don't own **_**Twilight****. **_

**Umm... so... yeah... I'm officially writing this again. It was on hiatus for two years. I always intended to go back to it. It was never abandoned. And now here we go again. **

**If you need to reread the whole thing I don't blame you at all. I had to do that, too. **

**Remember the warnings for this story are pretty strong, and it above and beyond earns its M rating. This chapter is mild, though. No real warnings for this one. **

**Thank you to KR2009 and anhanninen for believing in my ability to jump back into this story, and for holding my hand and kicking my ass the whole way. Best pre-readers ever. Also a huge thank you to Mackenzie L for not giving up on me and for being an amazing beta.**

**A special thank you for this chapter goes to pugridesshotgun for playing the role of Esme's attorney and helping me iron out the legal details. **

**Here we go! Hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

><p><em><span>October 22, 2004<span>_

_Columbus, OH_

"Make a wish, baby."

Esme sat in the booth across from me in her favorite retro style diner.

I pulled out my lighter and lit the lone candle on the cupcake between us. The lady at the counter stopped wiping the bar and glared at me but didn't say anything.

The birthday girl smiled and closed her eyes before blowing out the flame.

"What did you wish for?"

She threw her straw wrapper at me. "No way am I telling! Then it won't come true."

"Come on, babe, you know that's fake! I would tell you."

She rolled her eyes and took a bite. "You wouldn't even wish for anything."

"Of course I would. I would wish for a naked Esme."

She laughed and reached across the table, pretending like she was going to punch me.

"You're so ridiculous," she said.

I tossed some money on the table and reached for her hand as we slid out of the booth. I pulled her into my arms as soon as she was on her feet.

"Happy birthday, Esme. I love you."

* * *

><p><span><em>October 22, 2008<em>

_Seattle, WA_

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" Alice screamed as soon as we entered the restaurant.

Every single person in the restaurant turned to stare at us, making me want to hide behind Esme. She was smiling, though, and squeezed my hand as we walked toward the table where Alice and Jasper were waiting for his.

This whole birthday dinner had been Alice's idea. Esme hadn't wanted to do anything except hang out at home, but Alice convinced her she wouldn't turn twenty-one every year and that we should celebrate. She and Jasper were planning to hang out at the apartment with us after dinner and have a few beers. Maybe some shots, too. Even though she could get on my last damn nerve faster than anyone, I was glad Alice made this suggestion.

My girl was definitely worth celebrating.

Alice jumped up from the table and threw herself at Esme. Most of the time I swear the girl's on crack. Esme loves her, though, and she has seriously kicked my ass when I needed it.

She glared at me while she hugged Esme. I shifted my weight, feeling awkward. Then she released Esme and wrapped her arms around me, making me feel really awkward.

"You better be treating her right," she whispered.

She pulled back with a smile, like she hadn't basically threatened me, and sat down beside Jasper.

"I'm so happy you guys came," Esme said.

"Of course," Jasper said, raising his glass of water to her. "Anything for my favorite customer."

Esme laughed. "Don't tell Carlisle that."

"This douchebag? Nah, he knows he could never compare to you."

Was this fucker flirting with my girl? I liked Jasper but I would not hesitate to beat his ass.

Esme put a hand on my knee and glanced at me out of the corner of her eye. Yeah, my girl could read my mind sometimes.

"Hi! What can I get you guys to drink?"

I looked up to see our waitress standing beside me, probably a lot closer than she should have been. Her name tag said Lauren, and she definitely stepped a little closer when she caught me reading it, probably thinking I was checking her out.

Jasper smirked at me.

She was pretty, sure, but I learned my lesson with the whole Kate thing. It was a miracle Esme didn't break up with me over that. We were still friends, I guessed. We still had class together, and she didn't seem to have any hurt feelings over the night of the party, so I figured we were good.

Esme hadn't been that easy.

Even after we talked and she forgave me she was still distant for a while. I knew she still didn't trust me sometimes.

Right now, for instance. She stomped on my foot and cleared her throat. I realized I was still staring at the waitress.

"Yeah, I'll have a bud light. You can skip the glass, too. I'll just take the bottle."

She looked right past Esme to Jasper. Esme looked ready to murder her and spoke up before Jasper could say a word.

"Yeah, I'll have a white sangria, thanks." She gently shut her menu and smiled at Lauren. She was being completely non-threatening but I could tell she was on the verge of a physical assault.

Nobody needed to be arrested.

"I'm gonna need to see some ID," Lauren said.

Esme tensed beside me, but pulled her license out of her wallet. Seriously, these girls and their dramatics.

Lauren wrote her drink down and then continued to Jasper, but I kept my eyes on Esme. She and Alice were looking at each other, talking with their eyes or some shit. I didn't even know, but they did that all the time, and the next time they spoke it was like they were reading each other's minds.

Creepy.

"I'll be right back with those," Lauren said, tucking her pad into her apron and smiling at me again before disappearing.

Esme rolled her eyes, but still didn't speak. I leaned over and kissed her cheek, getting a small smile out of her. She reached for my hand and linked our fingers in her lap.

"So," Alice said, "how are classes going, Carlisle?"

I knew this was coming. She acted like my damn mother. She and Esme talked almost every day, but whenever she saw me it was an interrogation.

"They're fine," I mumbled.

She raised an eyebrow. Christ, what did she want from me, to check my homework?

Lauren brought our drinks in record time, and Esme immediately took a large sip of her Sangria.

"Oh my God, that's so good," she said.

Jasper and I laughed. "Slow down, kiddo," he said. "You're gonna be drunk before we even get to the apartment."

"Good," she replied with a smirk. "I'm the birthday girl. I can drink however much I want."

"True that," Alice said, raising her glass. "Hey, maybe we can get free dessert since it's your birthday!"

"I'll get a free dessert," Esme said. "You guys can pay for yours."

"Ugh, rude!"

Esme stuck her tongue out at Alice across the table right when Lauren came back to take our orders. I was last this time and when I handed her my menu there was no way to miss the way she brushed her fingers over my hand. Even I noticed that shit.

I thought Esme was going to jump out of the booth and attack her, and I really didn't want that shit to happen. It was nothing, but she didn't see it that way. I wasn't an idiot. I knew she was seeing Kate on my lap at that party.

I rubbed her arm under the table and leaned in to whisper in her ear.

"Don't be jealous, baby. She's nowhere near as beautiful as you, and this is your night. I want you to enjoy it."

She smiled and placed her fingers over my arm, turning her face toward mine. "I know, and thank you for tonight. I mean it. It just pissed me off to see another woman's hands on you."

I nodded and rested my forehead against hers. "You're so hot when you're mad, though."

She laughed and gave me a quick kiss before returning to her drink.

"Are you two finished?" Jasper asked, earning a slap from Alice.

"Hush."

When our food came, Alice informed our waitress that it was Esme's birthday and could they bring her a free dessert, but no singing. Lauren didn't look pleased, but agreed, thank God. Alice would have thrown a damn fit if she'd said no. It was listed right on the dessert menu that anyone with a birthday had their choice free. Alice probably would have thrown the thing at Lauren's face to make her point.

Lauren came back with a plate that had the largest lava cake and a side of ice cream, and put it in front of Esme.

"Happy birthday," she said. "Here's your checks whenever you're ready."

Alice snorted and tried to cover it with a cough, making Esme laugh. Lauren scowled and walked away.

"What is your problem with her?" I asked Alice. "She was just telling Esme happy birthday."

"It was her tone, dumbass. She was being condescending. She probably wants Esme to burn in hell since she obviously wants you."

Huh?

Jasper looked just as confused as I did.

"You can tell all of that from how she spoke to Esme?"

"And from her behavior all night."

Yeah, she had been kinda flirty, but it was harmless. Esme knew better than to worry.

I shook my head, laughing, and turned to Esme. "Can I have a bite, baby?"

She smiled at me and raised her fork to my lips. The cake was good, but my Esme could make a better one. She loved to spoil me with cakes and cookies. There were always sweets to eat at our place, and she was the best baker I knew.

"Ugh, get a room," Alice said.

Esme laughed, but I scowled and slipped my arm around her waist, pulling her closer. "Maybe we'll just kick you out early tonight," I shot back.

"She's just kidding," Jasper said. "Should we go?"

I nodded, throwing down some money for the check, and slipping my arm around Esme's shoulder as we walked to the car.

The drive to the apartment was short, and Jasper's car pulled in right behind me.

As soon as we walked in, Jasper headed for the kitchen and pulled four beers out of the refrigerator. He popped all the tops and passed them around, raising his own.

"To Esme's birthday," he said.

The night passed in a haze of beer, smoke, and laughter. It was exactly the night Esme wanted. Just her good friends celebrating her day. Nothing over the top, even though I would have given her anything she asked for.

By the time Alice and Jasper left it was 2 a.m., and my high was long gone. I collapsed on the bed fully dressed while Esme removed her piercings and pulled her shirt over her head.

"Why was Alice such a bitch to me tonight?" I asked, sitting up

Esme stopped undressing and turned to face me, looking at me like I was an idiot.

"You were kind of a dick to her."

"She thinks I don't deserve you," I told her. "Jasper let that slip a couple weeks ago. Like she's so fucking perfect. She parties just as hard as we do. She's not the saint she pretends to be."

"Yeah, well a couple weeks ago you didn't deserve me."

Was she ever going to let that go? Probably not.

She came forward and rubbed my arm. "Baby, I don't want to fight right now, okay? Not on my birthday. There's much better things we could be doing."

"Hmm... I agree." I wrapped my arms around her waist, pulling her down so she straddled my legs. "Did you have a good birthday, baby?" I asked.

"I did," she answered, leaning forward to kiss me slowly. "Thank you."

I grinned and laid back, pulling her down with me. "Don't thank me yet, beautiful."

.

.

.

Three days later I came home from work to find Esme sitting on the couch reading a letter with her bottom lip between her teeth.

"What's wrong, babe?"

"It's the family's lawyer in Ohio. Something about my trust."

"Excuse me? I thought you lost your trust for running away with me."

"So did I," she said. "He wants to meet with me."

That sounded an awful lot like a trap. "Babe, I don't know if that's such a great idea."

"I know." She looked up at me. "You think maybe I should ask a lawyer here to look at it? Explain the situation?"

I shrugged. "Can't hurt. I just don't really trust your family."

"Neither do I, but I don't know how much control they have over this stuff. I never paid much attention. All I really knew was my grandfather set up a trust to be paid out when I turned twenty-one. I thought my parent's could refuse to hand over the money or whatever, but now I'm pretty sure they can't do that. Unless it's spelled out in the trust that they can. I don't know."

I could tell she was confused and frustrated, having her old life brought up again. But if my girl was really entitled to her trust fund, I was gonna do whatever I could to help get it for her. She deserved it for putting up with those people as long as she did.

"I'm gonna text Alice and see if she knows of any good attorneys."

I nodded and wandered to the kitchen, pulling a bottle of water out of the fridge.

I sat down beside Esme and offered her the water bottle while I glanced at the letter. We had both written off her trust fund as something that would never happen, but it had never mattered to either of us. All we wanted was to be together.

"What do you think, baby?" I asked her while she fiddled with her phone, anxious for a reply from Alice.

"I don't even know what to think. I'm terrified at the thought of possibly having to go to Columbus. I never wanted to go back again. But if I can find someone here who will look at this for me, I can't say it's not exciting to think about — not having to struggle for every penny anymore."

I had to agree with that. We worked way too hard to be as broke as we were. And when you added school on top of work, we were both constantly exhausted and on edge. It would be great to take that pressure off.

Alice texted her back with the name of someone Jasper knew who helped him set up the tattoo shop. Hopefully he would be able to help us, or could lead us to someone who could.

Esme called the number and made an appointment with the secretary for the next day. Since it would just be an initial meeting it wasn't really a big deal for him to see her the next morning.

I rubbed her arm as she put the phone down on the table.

"Well, I guess we'll see, won't we?"

She nodded. "Happy twenty-first birthday to me."

I laughed. "That's my girl."

.

.

.

The next morning Esme woke me up way earlier than I wanted to on a day we were skipping school.

"Babe," she said, shaking my shoulder. "We need to get ready."

I groaned and rolled over. "No."

"Carlisle, seriously. I'm freaking nervous about this. Now get up."

I rolled toward her and yawned. She kept biting her lip. I knew she was worried about what the lawyer would say.

I kissed her forehead before climbing out of the bed. "Okay, baby. Let's get going."

After we were both showered and dressed we followed the MapQuest directions we'd printed the night before to the guy's office.

"You okay?" I asked Esme when I pulled the car into the parking lot and we got out.

"Yeah. It's just weird. My old life coming back like this."

I nodded and put my arm around her shoulder. "It is."

We walked in and she told the receptionist who we were. We didn't have to wait very long before a tall man came down the hall toward where we were.

"Hello," he said. "You must be Esme. "He extended a hand to my girl. "Jason Jenks. It's a pleasure to meet you."

"Thank you," she replied, before turning to me. "And this is my boyfriend, Carlisle."

I shook his hand and then he led us back to his office.

"So," he said, taking a seat behind his desk. "What can I help you with today?"

Esme pulled the letter out of her purse and slid it across the desk.

"When I was born, my grandfather set up a trust fund of one million to be paid out when I turned twenty-one. I basically ran away from home at eighteen under not the best circumstances, and my parents verbally threatened my trust. I thought I was losing it by leaving, but yesterday I got this letter from their lawyer. I guess I just need to know what's going on and what my options are."

He read through the letter and then looked back up at Esme.

"I can definitely help you out with this. It is going to require some communication between me and their lawyer, but there is no reason for you to meet with them. Not if you want me to act as your representative."

She nodded, visibly relaxed to hear that she wouldn't have to return to Columbus.

"Okay," she said. "Where do we go from here?"

"Well..." He pulled out a legal pad and a pen. "I'm going to need some information about your life. I need to become familiar with the situation surrounding the trust if you want me to handle its transition for you."

"Like what?"

"Why did you run away, as you put it?"

"I was being forced to marry someone I hated."

I didn't know whether I wanted to laugh more at the directness of her answer or the way the lawyer's eyebrows shot up.

"Well, since you were not a minor when you left home, that won't factor into anything with regards to your trust."

"I'm sure my parents hate me now. They'll try to take the money from me — say I'm unfit or something."

She was starting to panic. I grabbed her hand and rubbed the back of it, trying to calm her down.

She smiled at me before continuing. "My family has lived in Columbus for a long time. My great-great-grandfather started a small dry goods store that is now a large grocery chain. Image is everything to them, and Carlisle was just about the opposite of what they wanted for me. I know them. They'll do anything to keep my money."

"I assure you we won't let that happen, Esme. I'll need to talk to the lawyer in Columbus and get the trust transferred."

They talked a little more before we left, and by the time we got back to the apartment I could tell a huge weight had been taken off her.

"They have to pay, don't they?" she asked as we sat down with some lunch.

"Sounds like it, babe. We should probably wait for him to get back to us once he's talked to them and everything."

I didn't want to bash her hopes or anything, but I still couldn't bring myself to trust her family not to try and screw her over. We didn't have any money to sue them with if they didn't pay.

She nodded. "You're right. I'm getting a little ahead of myself."

"Nah," I said. "I mean, we both thought this was a lost cause. It's crazy to have it brought up so suddenly."

"I had been thinking about the last couple weeks," she said. "As we got closer to my birthday. I mean, I knew it was supposed to be paid out when I turned twenty-one. How could I not think about it?"

"Yeah, that's true."

I picked up both our plates and took them to the kitchen while Esme went to lie down. Thinking and talking about her family like she had wore her out. I climbed into the bed beside her and pulled her into my arms to take a nap together. No matter what happened with her money this was something I wouldn't sacrifice for anything. My girl was worth giving that money up when we left and she was worth possibly not getting it now.

.

.

.

A week later I was sitting on the couch pretending to do my homework while I watched TV when Esme walked through the door, her phone against her ear.

"Mhmm," she said. "Okay. So you can handle all that for me?"

I stood up, confused as fuck about what was going on.

She nodded. "Thank you so much," she said before hanging up.

She stood there, holding her phone and staring at the ground.

"Esme? What the hell was that about?"

When she finally looked up, she was smiling.

"We're rich."

* * *

><p><strong>And so it begins...<strong>

**Things are gonna get messy from here, but try to trust me. Have faith. And as always thank you all so much for reading! **


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